MY REAL ENEMY

Romans 12:20 

By Rev Ernest O'Neill

In Romans, the chapter that talks about that very thing really, about our personal relationships with each other and how we get on together and the attitudes that we have to each other. And the verse that we're studying today is a verse that you've probably quoted often to other people, or you've at least heard it quoted. And maybe you'd look at it. It's in Romans 12:20. And even people who don't know the Bible at all know this verse and have heard it. It's Romans 12:20. 

Romans 12:20. “Know, if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him drink. For by so doing, you will heap burning coals upon his head.” And it's actually from Proverbs, so it's known as a proverb. Probably all of us have heard it.

What do you think of when you read it? I mean, do you think of war, you know, enemy in that sense? If you do think of it as applied to war, then it's hard to make sense of it, isn't it? In the light of all the directives that God gave to Israel about killing the Philistines and fighting against the other enemies in the land of Canaan, that verse seems utterly opposed to that. So, it seems inconsistent with other directives that God has given about fighting wars. And if you apply it to war also, it's difficult to see how it would work out in practice. 

I mean, you'd come across your enemy weak from starvation, and so you'd feed him.  You'd feed him up a good meal, and give him water to drink so that he got a strength to fight you a bit longer. It seems that it wouldn't really work in war situations. And that's where, loved ones, it's important in the Bible always to know the context of the verse that you're studying.

If you look at the context of this verse, for instance, verses 3 to 5 of this Romans 12, you'll see what the chapter 12 is about, Romans 12 and verse 3. "For by the grace given to me, I bid everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith which God has assigned him. For as in one body we have many members, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." That's the context. 

Our own relationships with each other here in the community of Jesus, that's it, you see. It's not concerned with political and civil matters. This chapter is concerned about our personal relationships with each other, your relationship to your friends and work, your relationship with your relatives at home, our relationships with each other as friends or as brothers and sisters in God.

This chapter is concerned about that. It's not concerned with civil and political matters like war and peace. Now, those are dealt with in the next chapter, you see. 

If you look at chapter 13 there and verses 1 and 2: "Let every person be subject to the governing authorities." You see, in that chapter Paul is going to deal with our civil responsibilities and matters that concern war and peace and social issues. "For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." 

Therefore, (Romans 13:2) he who resists the authorities that God has appointed resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. Now, that chapter 13 is about political and civil matters, but Romans 12 is about personal matters. So, this verse about feeding your enemy is not concerned with your international enemy, or your national enemy, or even your political enemy, but it's concerned with those loved ones in the circle of your friendship, or in the circle of your business associates, or in the circle of your family that make life hard for you, that oppose you, the people that seem out to get you. 

It's those people that God is talking about in this verse. And he's saying, "if that enemy hungers, then feed him. If he's thirsty, then give him drink, for in so doing you will heap fires of coal, coals of fire upon his head."  Many of us, of course, say, yeah, that's what I thought it meant. I thought it meant personal enemies, and boy, I think that's the way to wage war against them. You're dead right. 

Because we all kind of imagine somebody tearing into us, criticizing us, and tearing us apart, and we stand there smiling serenely, and responding to them with kindness, and with softness, and with love, and they get madder and madder. And we think to ourselves, oh, lovely, isn't it? Lovely. We're just heaping coals of fire upon their head. And every time they say something horrible to us, we say something beautiful back to them, and they just get madder and madder. And we say, yeah, that's the way to do it. Well, you know, loved ones, if that's what the verse means, then it's just another nice way of getting revenge, isn't it? I mean, that's it. 

It's just a nice way of getting our own back. And if that's really what the verse means, then Paul is utterly contradicting all that he's just said in the previous two verses, you remember, about returning no one evil for evil, and not avenging yourself. All that, then, is just sheer hypocrisy, because here he's saying, but I'll tell you a nice way to get your own back, without actually appearing to return evil for evil.

So it can't mean that, you see. The verse can't mean just another nice way of getting the knife in and twisting it, and yet appearing Christ-like at the same time. Now, what does it mean, then? Well, the first thing it means is that you and I have a total misconception about the person that we regard as our enemy. A total misconception about them. About the person who is trying to cut us down, or put us down. Or, the person who is telling lies about us at work. 

Or the person who has done us some professional damage, from which we have not yet recovered. We have a total misconception of how to think about them. We so often think, well, at least if we keep them out of our minds, or we don't let loose our hostile feelings against them, at least that's something. 

But do you see that Jesus is going away to the other end of the spectrum, and he's saying something utterly different than that. He's saying that that barely concealed enmity has no place in our hearts in regard to the people who oppose us in our personal or our social life. Jesus' attitude is utterly different. He outlines it, if you'd like to look at it, in Matthew 5:43-48.   It's the same spirit exactly as we find here in this verse in Romans. 

“You have heard that it was said, you shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you salute only your brethren, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Jesus says, you have to love them like your neighbor. Why? Because they are your neighbor. They are your neighbor. They're your neighbor deceived by the one who is your real enemy.

At seminary in Ireland, there was a guy in my year who was brought up in Africa. His father was an Irish Methodist missionary in Africa, and he was brought up in that country. And he had brought some things with him to remind him of the country that he believed God was calling him to go back to as a minister. One of these mementos hung on the wall of his study, which was also his bedroom. And so you opened the door, and right opposite to you was the most frightening, terrifying, leering face representation of Satan that you could ever hope to see. It was carved out of wood by an African. 

And the profound old African craftsman had carved underneath the words that were coming out of the leering mouth of Satan. And you saw this every time you went into the room. And there were the words, "Son of man, know thine enemy." Son of man, know thine enemy. And it was really saying, I'm your real enemy. I am Satan, and I'm the only enemy you have.

Loved ones, that's it. That wee soul that criticizes you at work. That one at home that is always trying to get the knife in and twist it inside your heart. That person at school that always seems out to be one up on you and to do better than you and to make you seem and look bad. That dear one is deceived by your real enemy. That one is deceived into thinking that he can somehow protect himself or he can make himself successful by knocking you out of the picture. 

That one that seems to have dedicated his life to doing you down is deceived by Satan into thinking if he can only knock you out of the competition, he will succeed and be happy. He's deceived into thinking if he can only get hold of the right things or if he only can get to know the right people or if he can only marshal together the right circumstances in his life, he'll be safe and successful. And he doesn't realize that success does not come from those things, but comes from the dear God who has put him here on earth and who is his father and who will provide him with all that he needs. 

And that dear soul is deceived by Satan into thinking that that is not true. But he's deceived. He has not originated the whole idea. He thinks if he can starve you out, then he himself will be okay. And Satan knows that that isn't so. Satan knows that the only thing you and I need for our success in this present life is the love of the dear creator who put us here and who has it all planned for us.

And Satan has no influence over us but that of deception and lies. And his job is to deceive us into thinking, no, it has nothing to do with your God or your father. It has to do with just getting this person out of the way, elbowing this person aside and getting yourself into a position of success.  Your real enemy is not that wee soul that you work with, nor that one that you live with. Your real enemy is Satan who has deceived that one. Let's remember what Paul says. 

He says, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. And that's true. 

That little one that tells lies about you, that little one that has opposed you and that wears you out by her criticism or frustrates you by constantly moving to cut across your plans, that one is deceived and thinks that if they can only get rid of you, they'll be okay. And Satan sits back smiling because he knows that that isn't true. But his aim is to try to get you to believe the same thing and to believe that if you can only starve out that enemy, if you can only get that enemy when they're down and refuse to feed them and refuse to give them drink and refuse to love them, then somehow you will get the upper hand. 

Satan knows that isn't true because he knows you've both been crucified with Christ. You remember 2 Corinthians 5 and 14 says, "Christ died for all, therefore all died." And dying to Christ, you remember, means in Galatians that the world is crucified to you and the world cannot hurt you in any way. 

Satan knows that. But his job is to try to persuade you and your enemy that what you do to each other is what is going to determine your happiness and your success in this life. And he's satisfied if he can get you to live these 70 probation years in absolute unbelief that God is your father so that you will both go into outer darkness and miss reality. Your real enemy is not that wee soul. Your real enemy is Satan, the father of lies, who is trying to persuade you both that if you knock out each other, things will be okay. You may say, oh well, nevertheless, can't they do me a lot of harm? I mean, even if this is my neighbor that is deceived by Satan, can't he do me a lot of harm if I don't stop him? If I don't starve him out? If I don't refuse to give him food when he needs it? 

If I don't somehow stop him, can't he do a lot of harm to my life? Can't he change the direction that my life is going in? Can't he stop me getting some of the things that I need to have? Not a bit. Not a bit. Neither he nor Satan, your real enemy, can do anything to you that God himself does not permit and is not able to use to bring you blessing. You remember the situation? You remember how Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery? How they did everything to destroy him? How they pretended to their father that he was dead? Forget him. 

He's gone. And how God then enabled Joseph, you remember, in prison to tell the meaning of the dreams to the king of Egypt? And how eventually Joseph was elevated and became governor of Egypt? And then at the very end of his father's life, how his brothers were frightened of what Joseph would do to them for what they had done to him. And Joseph, you remember, said, no, no, I love you. "You meant it for my harm, but God meant it for my good." And that's what happens in your life. No. 

Doesn't matter if it's your boss. Doesn't matter if it's your father, or your mother, or your husband, or your wife, or your dearest friend. Doesn't matter if it's your teacher or your professor. It doesn't matter who it is. Doesn't matter if it's the President of the United States. They can do nothing to you that God does not filter lovingly through his hands.

First he examines it, and he sees, will this do my child irreparable harm? Or is this something that will simply bring them pain? Or is this something that I can use to bring them closer to myself? And then, depending on the answers to those questions, God opens his fingers a little and lets it drop through to you, just enough of it to work his will in your life. So no, they can't do anything to you that God will not allow. There is nothing that happens to you that is due simply to the action of your enemy. No. You can afford to love them. You can afford to take your hands off them completely. 

It's the same with Satan. You remember in the first chapter of Job, how Satan was roaming up and down the world, and God called him and said, Is there anybody on the earth like my servant Job? Anybody as righteous as him? And Satan said, Oh, he's righteous because you've protected him. You've surrounded him with a hedge so that no evil can come to him. Then God said, All right, I let you approach him, only you cannot take his life from him. But I let you approach him, and you see how righteous and trusting he is. Satan can do nothing in your life but what God allows him to do. 

You remember Paul said it, There's no trial or temptation come upon you above what you're able to bear. And with the temptation, God will provide a way of deliverance. For God does not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. No, loved ones, whether it's the person who appears to be your enemy or it's your real enemy, they can do nothing to you that will destroy God's plan for your life. And they can do nothing to you that God himself is not using at this very moment to draw you to himself. So no, if you say, if I don't starve them out or if I don't stop them, can they not destroy my life? Not one whit, not an iota, not they can't turn your life a hundredth of an inch off the course that God has planned for it. 

Not a bit. There is nothing that you will appear to lose that God will not restore to you a hundredfold. There is no agony, no pain, no physical sickness, nothing that will come to you that God is not able to compensate you for completely and absolutely and make you stronger than you ever were in the first place. 

No, you don't need to stop that enemy. You need to love that enemy. Now, if you say to him, well, why? Why love him? Oh, because the only hope he has of living in the next life or being changed in this life is if he realizes that the Creator who put him here is able to provide him with all that he needs. He has provided him with all that he needed in the past and is able to change him and has changed him in Jesus. In Jesus' resurrection has resurrected him and set him at his right hand where he has power over everything. 

Unless that dear enemy of yours sees that, he will never be changed in this life and he will never live in the next life. The only hope he has of seeing all of that and believing it is if he sees you believing it and trusting the same God. So, as his caustic, satirical comments to you are met by your kindness and your loving words, as his campaign of lies against you are met by a constant stream of love and encouragement of him in his own life from your words. If his surliness towards you day by day, month by month, year by year are met by your real honest interest in him and your concern about him. Only then will he begin to feel the conviction of burning coals on his head and will he begin to catch sight of the beauty of Jesus in you and begin to want to wipe those burning coals off his head so that he can begin to enjoy the benefits of your love instead of feeling them as burning coals of conviction. 

He'll never repent unless he senses he's wrong and he'll never sense he's wrong unless he is constantly meeting in you the right and the gentleness and the love of God. You won't change a thing about him. You won't. With all your giving evil for evil, you won't change him one bit. He'll get worse. He'll get more antagonistic to you. But if he begins to punch through and his hand goes right through and out the other side and still you seem to love him as if he hadn't done anything to you, then he begins to meet Jesus as the Roman soldiers met him. But if you fight like a dog, he'll sense you must fight like a dog because you have nobody to protect you. But if you refuse to fight like a dog and you trust God to protect you, he'll begin to suspect maybe that same protector could protect me too and maybe I could trust this God that this enemy of mine trusts and I could live that life of rest too. 

Loved ones, that's it. We're not only to endure those loved ones who oppose us. We're to love them and we're to bless them and we're to treat them as if they had no attitude but love towards us because we know that they are neighbors of ours who were crucified with Christ and that's reality. We love them like that. 

Let us pray. Dear Father, we would confess to you all the anger we've wasted, all the irritability we've wasted, on those wee souls that oppose us, seem to want to frustrate the plans we have for our lives. Those people that have done dirty tricks to us at work, those who seem to have a real personal dislike for us at school. Lord, we confess and repent of the moments of resentment and the brooding anger that we have spent upon them. Lord, we see that they're not our enemy at all. They're just as deceived as we have been. Lord, our real enemy is Satan who is trying to persuade us both that what we do to each other makes a difference. Lord, we see it doesn't. 

We see, dear Father, that you work all things according to the counsel of your will and that they can't hurt us one bit. That he who abides under the shadow of the Almighty will say of the Lord, he is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. And Lord, that you alone govern the direction of our lives. Father, we now pray for these people that we have called our enemies. We pray for them now. Lord, we pray that you will continue to work in their hearts and to convict them of their lack of trust in you and their lack of faith in you.

Father, we pray that our trust in you and our love of them and our honest indifference to what they do to us may act like coals of fire that will convict them of their own lack of peace and will bring them to the place where they'll wipe those coals of fire off their heads and they'll begin to want to enjoy the benefits of our love instead of resenting them. So, Lord, we thank you. It is all possible because you, Lord Jesus, have taken us all into yourself and have cleaned the whole lot up, destroyed all the evil and all its power to hurt.

And you have raised us up with yourself and here we are at the Father's right hand, far above all that men can do to us. Lord, we thank you. Pray, Lord Jesus and dear Holy Spirit, that you will enable us to live this way this coming week for your glory.