ARE YOU A HINDRANCE?

Romans 14:21

Ernest O'Neill

Will you take a Bible, loved ones, and look at Romans 14:21. “It is right not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that makes your brother stumble. It is right not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that makes your brother stumble.” 

Before you and I breathed our first breath, a dear lady had borne more pain and strain for us than probably the majority of us will ever bear in the rest of our lives. And she had borne it all before we ever were seen by her at all. The fact is that after that great, wonderful expression of love between our dad and our mom, after that it was all kind of uphill work for our mother.

It was all just a hard job after that, you know. The old morning sickness and all the growing feeling of strain on her own body with all the veins and arteries doing double duty for two little human beings instead of just one, that really was in a way only the beginning of it.  Then, of course, she knew that all of that was only the start.

And that there was an ordeal ahead of her that probably few of us men could go through at all. And so, then there was that wild moment of tension when this was the time to rush to the hospital and she rushed to the hospital. And then there's all the considerable pain that comes from several pounds of a little human being wanting to get out into the world.  Of course, there's the excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon in regard to that. The wedding and the honeymoon, you remember, are wonderful while everybody's around you. And then after that, of course, you get into the agony and the nitty-gritty of it all And it was the same when you were born. When you were born, oh, it was just wonderful. Everybody came around to see you and she was just wonderful having you and all us men thought she was wonderful. 

And then after about two days, everybody has disappeared and she suddenly finds she has a little thing that runs out at both ends and that produces pounds and pounds of dirty diapers and that never seems to need to sleep and that cries all the time. And then she knows that when she gets at home from hospital, even that is just the beginning of the beginning. Because it's then, of course, that she starts to have to govern everything in her life for the sake of this little human being. 

And really, we need to see that, you know, that that's what she did. And everything that she arranges, her diet and the food that she ate and all that kind of thing during the pregnancy, all that was arranged, not for her sake, not because of what she wanted and enjoyed, but really for our benefit. And all the things that she felt during the pregnancy, you know, we men say, oh you're just beautiful and in a way you ladies are just beautiful during pregnancy, but in many ways you're not just beautiful and you are the ones that know that. 

So you bear all the pain of that and the clumsiness of it and all the psychological feeling of looking clumsy and not looking beautiful. And she bears all that for us during those months before we ever appear on the scene. And then when we appear on the scene, really her putting us first and herself last just begins.   Yet, in fact, for nine months that's what she's been doing. But all she's been doing is up to now governing her personal habits of eating and drinking for our sake. It's only her personal and likes and dislikes that she's governed and limited and controlled for our benefit. 

But now once we come out and appear beside her, she begins to have to govern every detail of her life in relationship to us. Really it's amazing, it's only after we cease that intimate dependence on her body that we had, it's only after we break that, that her absolute dependence upon us takes place. Because in strange ways, she's at least been able to take us wherever she wanted us to go because we were inside.  But now we're outside, suddenly we begin to drag her around where she might not want to go. And we begin to crawl all over the place. And the moment we start to crawl, that moment, not only her personal likes and dislikes in food and drink and all the other things become dependent and governed by us, but her every movement becomes governed by us. 

She actually gave up eating modeling clay years ago. And she gave up eating poisoned berries years ago. But suddenly she has to put herself into the mind of a miserable crawling little creature that is all over the floor all the time and is picking up all kinds of things and putting them in its mouth.  Really she lives, she begins to live a proxy kind of life, a vicarious life. She begins to live inside the little human being that you and I were. And she lives and thinks that little human being. 

She has to see that as he ceases to crawl or she ceases to crawl and begins to walk, it simply reduces her four-minute warning system that she had before. Because all that we did, we can now do faster. And so she has to watch out for the priceless ornament that is about to come crashing down on the neighbor's floor.  She has to get inside that little mind and actually, if you think of it, begin to think what we're thinking. And begin to forecast what we're going to think. And so in a real sense, once we came out of her body, in a way she is more dependent upon us than we were originally dependent upon her.

And of course it carries on at all times. Not only does she govern her sleeping and her waking according to what we need, but she governs her recreation time according to us. When she goes out with our dad on an odd occasion, she's always thinking, now what is he doing back there? Or is she sleeping? Or is she okay? Or is the babysitter okay? And no babysitter is ever okay in the mom's mind. 

The mom always feels well, nevertheless, despite the fact that she's there. Still, isn't it interesting? Still, the baby is really dependent upon me. In some amazing way, the mom, you know, kind of shields us probably in all kinds of incredibly deep spiritual ways from all kinds of attacks.   So, she may be out with dad, but really she's back at home all the time. And it's the same with picnics that she goes out on, and vacations that she has, and recreational things that she does. All the time really, her mind is back with the little crawling human being there, or the little human being that has started to walk around. 

So, in a deep way, even when she's away from us, she's actually with us all the time. And she is constantly putting our life and what we're doing before herself. In fact, she's governing all our thoughts, and our attitudes, and our activity in the light of what we're doing. 

And that is amazing, isn't it? That's an amazing slavery, if you like to say. It's an amazing sacrifice when you think of it. That not only bear those nine months of agony, but then the sacrifice has only started, because you start living all the time thinking of the other person. 

And I know we men like to think, oh yes, but the rewards of motherhood are infinite. But the sacrifices of motherhood are pretty infinite when you begin to examine them like this. And then, of course, that's the easy part that is now over.  That's just the easy part that she's lived. Because she's about to really change her whole life in relationship to this little human being. Up to now, she's changed her eating habits, her drinking habits. 

She's changed her recreational activities. She's changed the things she can do in the evening. She's changed the things she can do during the day. But that's just the start. Now we're coming into the biggies, because school days arrive. And a house is really quite important to a lady, you know. 

And yet, the choice of the house and its location is decided, yet again, on the basis of which kindergarten is nearby or which is the best school district. And the mum doesn't think of primarily where I'd like to live or the kind of thing I'd like to do, but thinks primarily of what can I do that will put nothing that is a stumbling block in the way of this little one that God has given me to. And I don't know if you know it, but both the baptism services and the dedication services that we practice in our churches have that question.

And of course, we men, we happily answer, I will, God being my helper. But really, it's the mum that fulfills it, you know. Will you so order your own life that no stumbling block be put in the way of this little one, but that she or he may be brought up in the knowledge of God and enter into the full fellowship of them that believe? And both husband and wife answer, I will, God being my helper.

But it's the mum that is all the time preoccupied with, let us so order our lives that our little child will have every opportunity to be successful in this life. And so the house is chosen in the light of the school. And then the mum begins to live in the mental life of the little human being.

And the little human being begins to be influenced by other adults and by other children. And the mother is always watching to see the first sign of coarseness, the first sign of cruelty, the first sign of indifference or hatred. And as she sees it, she then goes on to hand over the rest of her life, actually, to this little one, because she governs the TV that she watches, the movies that she watches, the books that she reads, the things that are lying around the house.

She governs all that in the light of the needs that she sees this little one is beginning to have. And so it is, loved ones, incredible as you start to see the sacrifices that a mother makes even before we've reached the age of eight or nine, the way in which she governs her whole life in relationship to our success. And then, of course, you come to that time of adolescence, and maybe that's the time, you know, when the sacrifice is most obvious. 

That's the time when we discover there are other ladies in the world besides our mum. Or we discover there are other men in the world besides our dad. And at that very time when the mother is faced with surely the greatest sacrifice, certainly the sacrifice that we talked about in the Old Testament story, the sacrifice that she faces when she realizes that this boy or this girl that she's given up her whole life for is going to ride off into the sunset with some other girl or with some other guy.

And it's amazing that at that time when we're in the midst of adolescence and all the confusion and all the love-hate relationships and all the selfishness and all the rebellion that take hold of us as adolescents, she actually is all intent on making sure that we have the best opportunity to meet the best partner that we possibly can meet. And so, at that point where the greatest love is giving us up, the mum kind of rises to that again. And it's interesting, you know, we all kind of think that mothers love weddings, and in some ways they love weddings, and yet it is interesting when you think of it. 

At the heart of every wedding, actually there's only one thing happening. And I know we are gaining a daughter and not losing a son and all that stuff, but really the relationship is never the same after the wedding. After the wedding, there's a deep relationship that you have with another man or with another woman that changes the relationship that you had with this person who has sacrificed continually for you.

And so, loved ones, it's amazing, you know, that during those adolescent days, our mum is the one who takes care of all kinds of sanitary responsibilities for us and laundered our clothes and buys the clothes that will make us look best. And yet, the only eventual result of looking our best is that she'll eventually lose us. And yet, that is something of what a mother's love is about.  That is planted as a natural gift in mothers by our Creator throughout the whole world. Throughout the whole world, mums express that kind of love year upon year upon year with tremendous sacrifices that it involves. It doesn't matter how irreligious they are or how religious they are. 

Doesn't matter how civilized or uncivilized they are. God has put that incredible mother's love in human beings throughout this world. All in order to enable you and me to be born into a world where we last about 70 years.  In other words, all that sacrifice, all that concentration, just to enable you and me to be born into a temporary world which will last not much more than 70 years. Now, what kind of love is required to enable a person to be born into a spiritual world that will go on forever? Well, you see, nothing less. Nothing less and probably much more. 

It is good not to eat or drink or do anything that will cause your brother to stumble. And then you look at your mum's sacrifices, eating and drinking. That's a small part of what she governed and changed so that you would not stumble.

Loved ones, how much less is it that God is asking for you and me to govern our lives by the same principle in order to have something to offer God the moment after we die.  You remember as we talked two weeks ago that there's only one thing worth doing in this world. All your money will eventually go and you can't take it with you anyway.

All our houses will crumble and our great businesses and all our projects will be nothing. And when we go before God, our creator, the moment after we die, the only thing that will stand at all is how many people we have brought into heaven with us. How many people we have helped to become like God so that the purpose of his creation will be fulfilled. 

That's the only thing that will count. And you see, to do that, to bring that about, whether you're an engineer or whether you're an electrician or whether you're a secretary or a treasurer or a president or whether you're a plumber or a carpenter, whatever you are, that's the whole purpose of your life. To enable people to become more like Jesus so that they will be with us forever in heaven. 

And the only way to do that is so to order your own life that no stumbling block will be put in their way. In other words, maybe you think wine is drinking is okay. Okay, no big deal.  But if it puts them off, it causes them to stumble, then stop it. Maybe you see no problem in eating meat. Okay, that's great. But if it causes them to stumble, then don't eat it. In other words, be at least as concerned about them not stumbling as our dear mothers have been for us. It's interesting, isn't it? Our mum, however she has been. 

Our mum has been a living example to us of living for other people, of living to enable other people to be born into a world and to prosper in that world and to be successful in that world. And loved ones, that's exactly what we're here to do. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing that matters. So, it's not something new. I know our society encourages us to do what suits us. 

That's not reality. That's not reality. That's savagery.  That isn't the new morality. That's immorality. That's savagery. Life always has been seen in terms of the highest experiences of it that we have seen in our own mums and dads. Life has always been living for other people. It always has been. 

This is just a silly deception that we practice today where we say, oh no, today you live for yourself. Live for yourself and you die. You die like Howard Hughes with Kleenex sticking to your fingers in poverty and in malnutrition at the top of some hotel.  No. Life has only meaning if you govern your own life as your mother governed hers in order to make sure that the rest of us around you will not stumble but will in fact become more like God, will begin to be like Jesus, and therefore will be received into heaven by our Creator at the end. Well, what about your life and mine? I just ask you because probably that's the biggest thing we can do for our mothers, isn't it? Probably that's the biggest thing.  I mean the corsage is good and the lunch is good, but our mothers aren't dumb. That's one day, one day in the year. Probably the greatest thing is that we would live our lives the way she has lived her life for us. 

Well, I'd ask you about those people at work and about your neighbors. Do you govern your own life so that they might come to know God? Are you governing your own life that way? Are you governing the television you watch, the movies you go to, the things you eat, the things you do with your money, the things you do with your house and where you live, what you do with your recreational time, the time you call your own? Your mom didn't have any time she could call her own. Are you governing all that in the light of what will bring them closer to God? Loved ones, after this life is over, that's the only thing you can present to God. 

It's the only thing that means anything in that vital moment, a moment after we die. A moment after we die, God will look at us and say, did you live for yourself or did you live to bring your neighbors and your friends and your business colleagues to know me and to know my love for them and to become like me? And on that day, we won't be able to say, I never knew what such a life would be like. The Father will say, I give you a very clear example from the moment you were born. 

So, I would pray, you know, that we would receive the message, not even that our mothers would speak to us today, but the message that their life has preached clearly to us and that we would govern our lives in the same way. Let's pray. Dear Father, we've had this clear example from the moment we were born of this dear lady that has governed all her actions and her behavior for our success. 

Father, we repent that we have failed to see the wood for the trees and that we have cut ourselves loose from her and been glad that we could live our lives for ourselves. Father, we see that there's only one meaning in life and that is that we should help you populate heaven, that we should help others to become like you so that they will not feel out of place in heaven. So, Father, we would turn from living our lives for ourselves.  We would turn from insulting our mothers. We would turn from trampling over the example that has been given to us and we would begin to live our lives the way they have. 

So, that our friends and our colleagues at work may begin to get to know you and become more like you. So, Father, as we thank you for these dear ladies, we do thank you too for the message that you bring us through their life and we tell you that we want to enable them to be satisfied with the sacrifice they've made and to enable you, Lord Jesus, to also see of the travel of your soul and be satisfied as you see us beginning to live our lives so that no stumbling block be put in the way of our friends and neighbors and so that everything be done to bring them into the living family of God and into that world that goes on forever. We give ourselves to you, our Father, in Jesus' name for this purpose. Amen.