CHAPTER 14--LIGHT AT LAST JANUARY-JUNE 1853. AET. 20-21.

THE joy of these experiences was very great and had much to do with Hudson Taylor's return to a fuller consciousness of fellowship with God. His early months in London had not been helpful spiritually, but now as winter passed away a springtide of blessing seemed to awaken in his soul.

" I do not need to be told that you have been praying for me," he wrote to his mother in February. " I have been sure of it. For though at times the heavens have seemed as brass and I have felt myself left and forsaken, I have been enabled to cling to the promises by simple, ` naked faith,' as father calls it x and never have I enjoyed more happy seasons than of late."

He had been passing through deep waters since his return to London, not in connection with financial matters, but through the mistakes and suffering of some dear to him that cost him more than words can say. But by Easter these troubles were beginning to pass away, and he was rejoicing once more in inward and outward deliverance.His Sunday visits to Tottenham were very helpful at this time, especially the hours spent at Bruce Grove and with Miss Stacey. The latter had a way all her own of finding out what people needed, and the young medical student with his bright face, spare figure, well-worn clothes and burning love for China told a story that touched her heart.

In her garden stood a fine old cedar, a landmark in the neighbourhood and a delightful retreat on sunny days, and the library indoors was of the same restful character, a place seemingly apart from the hurry and care of life. Miss Stacey lived alone, and was quite mistress of the situation even when surrounded as she frequently was with visitors. Hudson Taylor needed rest : she would have him left quiet. So it became an understood thing whenever he was in the house that the library and cedar tree were not invaded save by this privileged but most unconscious guest.1 {1- " It has been one of the privileges of my life," wrote Miss Elizabeth Wilson of Kendal, " to have known so much of your beloved and honoured father. The first time I ever met him was when as a young girl I was on a visit to Miss Stacey. He came for one of the little rests he so much needed and that Miss Stacey rejoiced to give him, leaving him the run of the garden and library and protecting him from much company or conversation. He was then a medical student and living I think on very little. For years after, when I asked him how he had been able to afford the omnibus so often, he replied, 'Miss Stacey was not one who could forget details of that sort. She never let me pay my fare.' So no doubt the excellent dinners now and then did him good, as well as the ministry of the Tottenham meeting." Little could Miss Wilson have imagined at that time that she too would be called to China, and used as one of the most devoted pioneers of the Inland Mission. Another friend of those days, though still a lad at school, was Theodore Howard, son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Howard of Bruce Grove : now and for many years Home Director of the China Inland Mission. " I do certainly think," he wrote concerning Mr. Taylor's visits to Tottenham, " that the intercourse he had with friends there must have considerably influenced his views of Christian faith, doctrine, and practice. Those were palmy days in which there was much of the Holy Spirit's teaching, and I believe they have left their mark on many branches of the Evangelical Church. And they were followed by the blessed gatherings at Barnet and Mildmay, through which the same truths became the heritage of an everwidening circle of believers. Thank God that light has never died away, but has grown brighter and brighter amid the darkness of sacerdotalism, ritualism, and scientific criticism in these days of 'modem thought."'}

A change in his circumstances too proved helpful, when after six months at Soho he obtained a position as assistant to a surgeon in the City.

It was good to be at work again under experienced supervision, and a matter for thankfulness to have only a mile and a quarter to walk to the hospital, instead of four. He seems to have been living with his employer, Mr. Thomas Brown of St. Mary Axe, near Finsbury Circus, and it is comforting to read of family meals, including tea and supper. His life was necessarily a strenuous one-attending the hospital all the morning and working for Mr. Brown until nine o'clock at night, after which the time was his own for study. But his heart was at rest in God. The depression of spirits from which he had been suffering passed away, and after fifteen months of " boarding himself " on next to nothing, the change was in every way beneficial.

China was much on his heart this spring, and his outlook upon the life-work awaiting him there was becoming more definite. Previously, in Barnsley and in Hull, he had rather taken it for granted that the difficulties connected with his future would all vanish if some Society could be found to send him out. It was a youthful way of looking at things, and' now with more experience he began to see that the very opposite might be the case. In London he had come to understand something of the working of a Society with its necessary rules and regulations, and he could not but see that to be under the direction of a Committee, while it would secure him a salary and other advantages, might greatly curtail his freedom of action, and in this way increase rather than lessen his trials.

At the same time events were transpiring in China that deepened his longing to give himself to work in the interior. This had always been his desire, in spite of the fact that inland China was inaccessible to foreign missionaries. Gutzlaff's effort to send the Gospel to the distant provinces had proved a signal failure, and Protestant Missions were still confined, and that very strictly; to the Treaty Ports. But for Hudson Taylor, the vast, dark, waiting interior, with its millions who had never heard of a Saviour's love, called with a claim and insistence that could not be disregarded. And now, through the amazing trend of events within that great Empire itself, it seemed as though his desire might be nearer accomplishment than he could ever have anticipated.

For wonderful news was slowly filtering its way from the inland provinces, news that filled the Western world with astonishment. The Tai-ping Rebellion, first recognised in 185o, had not only attained remarkable 'proportions under the leadership of Hung Siu-ts'uen. Arising in. southern China, it had swept over the central provinces and was now in possession of the larger part of the Yangtze Valley, including the famous city of Nanking. There, in the former capital of the Empire, the new ruler had established his seat of government, and with a conquered country behind him had rallied his forces for the march upon Peking. But it was not only the success attending this movement that made it a matter of such extraordinary interest in Christian lands. There was about it a character such as no analogous events in history had ever before possessed.

Arising among a heathen people, entirely apart from foreign influence, this mighty upheaval, as far as it had yet developed, appeared to be a crusade upon distinctively Christian lines. Its basis, was the Bible-but little understood, alas, in its spiritual teachings ! The Ten Commandments formed the moral code of the new kingdom. Idolatry in all its phases was abolished with unsparing hand, and the worship of the true and living God substituted, in purpose at any rate. The Christian Sabbath was recognised as a day of rest and prayer, and all restrictions were removed from the preaching of the Gospel.

" I have promulgated the Ten Commandments," wrote the Taiping leader to the only missionary of his acquaintance,1- {1- This was the Rev. F. J. Roberts of the American Baptist Missionary Union. Hung Siu-ts'uen, founder and leader of the Tai-ping movement, first learned the Truth from a tract given him during a literary examination in Canton, by Liang A-fah, one of Morrison's converts. Subsequently he returned to Canton to hear more of the New Doctrine, and spent two or three months in studying the Scriptures under the direction of Mr. Roberts. Though he did not remain long enough to be baptized and received into Church fellowship, he had learned enough of the spirit and teaching of Christianity to make him a missionary to his own people on his return to Kwang-si, the province in which his fervent propaganda began. It was not until bitter persecution from the Chinese authorities had driven his followers to arms, that the movement took on a revolutionary character.}" throughout the army and the rest of the population, and have taught them all to pray, morning and evening. Still those who understand the Gospel are not many. Therefore I deem it right to send the messenger in person to wish you peace, and to request you, Elder Brother, if you are not disposed to abandon me, to (come and) bring with you many teachers to help in making known the Truth and to administer the ordinance of baptism....

" Hereafter, when my enterprise is successfully terminated, I will disseminate the Doctrine throughout the whole Empire, that all may return to the one Lord and worship the true God only, This is what my heart earnestly desires."

Scarcely less surprising was their attitude toward Western nations. Opium-smoking was utterly prohibited, and T'ienteh-1 {1- The title taken by the Tai-ping leader or " Emperor." } made no secret of his purpose to stop the importation from abroad. But for foreigners as such, their Christian " brothers " from across the seas, they expressed a cordiality of feeling wholly contrary to Chinese pride and prejudice.

" The great God," they said, " is the universal Father of all under Heaven. China is under His government and care. Foreign nations are equally so. There are many men under heaven, but all are brethren. Many women are under heaven, but all are sisters. Why should we continue the selfish practice of regarding a boundary here or a limit there?? Why indulge the wish to devour and consume one another ? "

In a word, it seemed as though the hoary exclusiveness of China as well as its heathen systems would soon be swept away before Christian light and teaching, and the whole country thrown open to the influence of the Gospel.2- {2 -T'ien-teh was probably the only aspirant to a throne who ever made it a chief object to print and circulate the Christian Scriptures. So eager was he that his people should possess the Word of God that he kept four hundred men employed in Nanking, under his own supervision, printing and binding various books of both the Old and New Testament. The version used was that of Dr. Gutzlaff, which thus found its way in actual fact to the remotest part of the empire. The title-page of every copy bore the inscription : " A new edition, published in the third year of the Tai-ping Dynasty. " Around the title itself, the imperial arms were emblazoned, and a large red stamp, four inches square, stated that the book was sent out on the authority of the new emperor, the man before whom Peking itself trembled.}From every standpoint the prospect was inspiring, and Christian hearts could not but beat high with hope and expectation. No wonder Hudson Taylor with many others saw in all this the moving of God's providence. What kings and governments could never have accomplished, was not He in His .own wonderful way rapidly bringing to pass ? But how immense the responsibility thus imposed upon the Church, and how little prepared was she to meet it !

No wonder' also, in view of -all these happenings, that though he was studying medicine Hudson Taylor felt no inclination to tie himself down to distinctively medical work. His desire was to use his knowledge rather as an aid to evangelisation in districts that had never yet been reached. This was the work to which the Lord had called him ; deep down in his own soul he knew it beyond a doubt. But whether the Chinese Evangelisation Society would approve was quite another question.

To judge from their Rules and Regulations they would expect, at any rate, to maintain absolute control over the movements of their representatives. These were spoken of as Agents, and were expected to subscribe to by-laws that perplexed him with their detailed requirements ; and over against all this was his growing conviction about the work to which he personally was called. The hand of God was upon him. So far as he was concerned, this was the great fact, the chief consideration. And if the rightful authority of the Committee in London had to be considered as well, how would the two fit in ?

" There is one point about which I have not yet made up my mind," he wrote to his mother on April 5. " If at the expense of the Society I pass my examinations, take one or more degrees, go out to China and commence hospital work, how could I feel myself at liberty to sever the connection and go into the interior if called to do so ?

" It certainly does not seem to me that permanent work in one place, medical or otherwise, has been the way most used of God in the conversion of multitudes, Paul and the apostles of old, Wesley, Whitfield, and others largely used in modem times have been travelling preachers and I do not feel at all sure that I should be right in binding myself to a different course of action. I shall be thankful to have your opinion on these points, and your prayers for Divine guidance in all my ways.

" That the Rules I mention," he continued a little later, " are reasonable and necessary for the Society, I do not doubt. I see also that after three years and a half I might be legally free to act independently, if I so desired. But I put it to you, Mother, would it be honourable, would you like me to take advantage of such a situation ? After the Society had borne the expense of my medical education and of sending me to China, and I had been there long enough to begin to be useful, would you approve my leaving them just as soon as I could do so legally ?

" And since it is my decided opinion that such would be my course, how can I honestly accept their aid ? Where is the probability that I should ever be able to refund such an expenditure ? These difficulties seem to me insurmountable."He was acting, certainly, on principles the Master commended ; sitting down to count the cost before beginning to build. Well would it be if all intending missionaries would do the same to-day. And as he prayed and pondered he began to see that even his present position was compromising. The Society was already bearing, in part, the expense of his medical education. If he went on and completed it, it would cost them over a hundred pounds. Already he was letting himself be involved in obligations he might not be able to discharge without unfaithfulness to the most binding thing in all his life, the will of God.

This was a serious matter, and one that called for immediate consideration. Should he go on as he was, allowing the Society to misunderstand to some extent his intentions? Or should he explain all, and run the risk of losing their aid ? Must he abandon his medical studies now, when he really seemed on the way to completing them, and work his way out to China as a self-supporting missionary?

It is easy enough in these very different days to smile at what may seem over-conscientious scruples, but to Hudson Taylor it was a more perplexing position than we can readily understand. Missionary agencies were comparatively few and far between, and he knew of only this one with which he as an unordained man could become connected. Individuals did not then send out and support their own representatives, nor was he in fellowship with any Church that could sustain him. Practically it meant that he must either become an agent of the C.E.S., subject to all their regulations, or else go out in faith, looking to the Lord to supply his needs or provide him with employment in which he could be self-supporting. And the choice had to be made immediately.

From early April till the end of May these problems exercised his mind. He could not let things drift, but still less could he act before he was sure of the guidance of God. Full many a prayer in those lovely spring days might have been measured by the mile, as he went up and down between the hospital and St. Mary Axe, but when the time came to go forward he did so without hesitation.

" With regard to my passing the College of Surgeons," he wrote to his mother in May, " I have written to Mr. Bird stating the reasons that appear to me as obstacles to my entering at their expense. It is necessary for the well-being of the Society that its missionaries should be subject to the Board of Management.... Their rules are no doubt reasonable and essential for such an organisation. But to me, to be educated at their expense and of course subject to these regulations would be like removing myself from the direct and personal leading of God, because I should become the servant of the Society; Having no money I could not release myself honourably, and in any case, for nine months at least (the period required as notice) I should be unable to act. Now, it is possible to pay too dearly even for great advantages, and this is more than my conscience allows me to do.

" If I am guided by God in going out, He will open the way and provide the means required.. If a degree is necessary, He will supply the means• for that also. If it is not necessary, it will be better for the time and money to be otherwise employed. And if I am not called to go, far better for all concerned that I should not leave England..

" But do not think from my using this form of expression that I am at all doubtful, for I never have had a doubt on the subject. My mind is kept in perfect peace, stayed on Him who is the Rock of Ages ; and I am willing either to take a degree or not, as He sees fit to order..:. I have been enjoying great rest of heart lately .... and often feel the goodness of God in a way that cannot be expressed. .

'If in the time required to make me an M.D. or M.R.C.S., or both, I am instrumental in leading any poor Chinese to the feet of Jesus, how much better would that appear in the eternal ages 1 Oh for grace really to live out that beautiful verse

I all on earth forsake,

Its wisdom, fame and power ;

And Him my only Portion make,

My Shield and Tower.

" How very little many considerations that weigh with us now will appear as we look back upon them from the eternal ages ! Then we shall reckon indeed that ` the sufferings of this present time' were `not worthy to be compared' with the glory that was to follow. Would that we always did so here and now."

But all this preoccupation with important matters was not allowed to interfere with daily duties and with thoughtfulness for those around him.1- {1- The impression made by the young assistant upon those with whom he lived at this time may be judged from the following recollections, kindly communicated to the writers more than fifty years later by a member of Mr. Brown's family." Early in 1853, Mr. Hudson Taylor went to assist Mr. Thomas Brown, Surgeon, who then resided at the comer of St. Mary Axe and Camomile Street, London. Mr. Brown's youngest child was a baby of a year old. Dr. Brown did not approve of perambulators for children living in the city, so on week-days the baby went out in his father's carriage. On Sundays, however, Dr. Brown never took any of the children -with him on his necessary rounds. As little Henry was too heavy for his nurse to carry, he would have had to remain indoors all Sunday, if Mr. Taylor had not taken compassion on him. But he was fond of children, and before church time on Sunday used to carry the little fellow in his arms around Finsbury Circus which was near at hand. Soon after Mr. Taylor left for China, Dr. Brown and his family moved to Finsbury Circus, where one of his sons still practises.-MARY E. BROWN."} Like Dr. Hardey in Hull, Mr. Brown soon discovered that he had a valuable assistant, and among the patients for whom Hudson Taylor cared more than one had reason to thank God for his solicitude for soul as well as body. For he did not attempt to evade or to defer the supreme duty of leading men to Christ.' The unsaved at home were just as much a burden on his heart as the unsaved in China. Always and everywhere' he was a soul-winner.

One among Mr. Brown's patients, for example, caused him no little concern at this time. He had been a hard drinker, and now in middle-life was suffering the bitter, consequences of sin. His condition was serious, and his hatred of everything to do with religion so intense that it seemed hopeless to try to influence him.

" The Lord had given me the joy of winning souls before," wrote Hudson Taylor, recalling this experience, " but never in surroundings of such peculiar difficulty. With God, however, all things are possible, and no conversion ever takes place save by the almighty power of the Holy Ghost. The great need of every Christian worker is to know God I was now to prove His willingness to answer prayer for spiritual blessing under most unpromising circumstances, and thus to gain an increased acquaintance with the prayer-answering God as One' mighty to save.'

" A short time before leaving for China it became my daily duty to dress the foot of a patient suffering from senile gangrene. The disease commenced as usual insidiously, and the patient had little idea that he was a doomed man and probably had not long to live. I was not the first to attend him, but when the case was transferred to me I naturally became very anxious about his soul. The family with whom he lived were Christians, and from them I learned that he was an avowed atheist and very antagonistic to anything religious. They had without asking his consent invited a Scripture reader to visit him, but in great passion he had ordered him from the room. The Vicar of the district had also called, hoping to help him, but he had spit in his face and refused to allow him to speak. His temper was described to me as very violent, and altogether the case seemed as hopeless as could well be imagined;

" Upon first commencing to attend him I prayed much about it, but for two or three days said nothing of a religious nature. By special care in dressing his diseased limb I was able considerably to lessen his sufferings, and he soon began to manifest appreciation of my services. One day with a trembling heart I took advantage of his grateful acknowledgments to tell him what was the spring of my action, and to speak of his solemn position and need of God's mercy through Christ. It was evidently only a powerful effort of selfrestraint that kept his lips closed. He turned over in bed with his back to me, and uttered no word;

" I could not get the poor man out of my mind, and very often through each day I pleaded with God, by His Spirit, to save him ere He took him hence. After dressing the wound and relieving the pain, I never failed to say a few words to him which I hoped the Lord would bless. He always turned his back looking annoyed, but never made any reply.

" After continuing this for some time my heart sank. It seemed to me that I was not only doing no good but perhaps really hardening him and increasing his guilt. One day after dressing his limb and washing my hands, instead of returning to the bedside, I went to the door and stood hesitating a moment with the thought in my mind, ` Ephraim is joined to his idols, let him alone.' Looking at my patient I saw his surprise, as it was the first time since opening the subject that I had attempted to leave without saying a few words for my Master.

" I could bear it no longer.. Bursting into tears, I crossed the room and said : 'My friend, whether you will hear or whether you will forbear, I must deliver my soul,' and went on to speak very earnestly, telling him how much I wished that he would let me pray with him,. To my unspeakable joy he did not turn away, but replied

"'If it will be a relief to you, do.'

" I need scarcely say that falling upon my knees I poured out my soul to God on his behalf. Then and there, I believe, the Lord wrought a change in his soul. He was never afterwards unwilling to be spoken to and prayed with, and within a few days he definitely accepted Christ as his Saviour. " Oh the joy it was to me to see that dear man rejoicing in hope of the glory of God ! He told me that for forty years he had never darkened the door of a church or chapel, and that then, forty years ago, he had only entered a place of worship to be married, and could not be persuaded to go inside when his wife was buried. Now, thank God, his sin-stained soul I had every reason to believe was washed, was sanctified, was `justified, in the Name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.' Often in my early work in China, when circumstances rendered me almost hopeless of success, I have thought of this man's conversion and have been encouraged to persevere in speaking the Word, whether men would hear or whether they would forbear.

" The now happy sufferer lived for some time after this change, and was never tired of bearing testimony to the grace of God. Though his condition was most distressing, the alteration in his character and behaviour made the previously painful duty of attending him one of real pleasure. I have often thought since in connection with this case and the work of God generally of the words, ` He that goeth forth weeping, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.' Perhaps if there were more of that intense distress for souls that leads to tears, we should more frequently see the results we desire. Sometimes it may be that while we are complaining of the hardness of the hearts of those we are seeking to benefit, the hardness of our own hearts and our own feeble apprehension of the solemn reality of eternal things may be the true cause of our want of success."

Very shortly after this the way cleared suddenly for Hudson Taylor. All had seemed uncertain before him, and especially since his letter to Mr. Bird about discontinuing his studies he had scarcely been able to see a step ahead. Very earnestly had he been in prayer for guidance, longing with all his heart to know and do the .will of God. And now the light shone suddenly, and in the way. he had least expected : because the time had come, and there is behind events, as the old prophet tells us, "a God . . . which worketh for him that waiteth for Him." 1- {1- Isaiah 64: 4, R.V.}

In the room of the C.E.S. sat one of the secretaries writing a letter. It was June 4, and events had succeeded one another in China with startling rapidity. Since their conquest of Nanking in March, the Tai-pings had carried all before them, sweeping over the central and northern provinces until Peking itself was almost within their grasp. Nothing, it seemed, could save the tottering dynasty, unless foreign powers could be persuaded to intervene. Sir George Bonham, the British Representative, after a visit to Nanking had brought back a report very favourable to the Tai-pings. " The insurgents are Christians," wrote the North China Herald for May 7 ; and the religious aspect of the movement seemed to keep pace with the increase of their power.1 {1- What the Tai-ping propaganda might have become, had it retained its earlier )characteristics, who can say? Success, as is so often the case, led to dissension and decline. From the zenith of its triumphant advance on Peking commenced this summer (1853), it degenerated into a corrupt political movement, deluging the country with blood and sufferings untold during the eleven remaining years of its course. Even so the Imperial Government was powerless to bring it to an end until succoured by Western Powers. England, in the person of General Gordon, Chinese Gordon as he is still appreciatively called, delivered the empire at last from what had become an intolerable evil. Nanking fell before General Gordon in 1864.}

This could mean but one thing : if Peking surrendered, the seclusion of ages was at an end and China would forthwith be thrown open to the Gospel. The very possibility, imminent as it was, proved a powerful stimulus to missionary effort. Christian hearts everywhere were aflame. Something must be done and done at once to meet so great a crisis. And for a time, money poured into the treasuries. 2- {2 So great was the interest in the Tai-ping Rebellion and the hope that by the sympathetic co-operation of Christian nations it might lead to the conversion of multitudes to Christianity, that in September of this year (1853) the British and Foreign Bible Society decided to celebrate its Jubilee by printing a million New Testaments for use in that country, an undertaking almost incredibly great in those days.}

In the light of these new developments the Committee of the C.E.S. had been reconsidering their position. The only representative they had in China was the German missionary Lobscheid, labouring near Canton. They had long wished to supply him with a fellow-worker, and now decided to send two men to Shanghai also, to be ready for pending developments. Money was not the difficulty, their income having considerably increased within the last few months, but men, suitable men, would not be easy to find.

Thus it was that early in June, as we have seen, Mr. Bird sat in his office writing as follows to one in whom they had every confidence, the young medical student, Hudson Taylor.

17 RED LION SQUARE,

June 4, 1853.

MY DEAR SIR-As you have fully made up your mind to go to China, and also not to qualify as a Surgeon, I would affectionately suggest that you lose no time in preparing to start. At this time we want really devoted men, and I believe your heart is right before God and your motives pure, so that you need not hesitate in offering, I think you will find a difficulty in carrying out your plan [of selfsupport], as even Mr. Lobscheid could not get a free passage. It is a very difficult thing to obtain. The expense for a single man is about £6o. Might not the time you want to spend in acquiring a knowledge of Ophthalmics be spent more profitably in China ? If you think it right to offer yourself, I shall be most happy to lay your application before the Board. It is an important step, and much earnest prayer is needed. But guidance will be given. Do all with thy might, and speedily.-I am, my dear sir, very truly yours,

CHARLES BIRD:

It was Saturday afternoon and the letter still lay on the desk, when a knock came, and the young man to whom it was addressed quietly entered.

" Why," exclaimed the Secretary, " I have just been writing to you ! The letter is not yet posted."

Long and earnest was the conversation that followed, for the suggestion made was a great surprise to Hudson Taylor. Constantly as China had been before his mind for three and a half years, it seemed rather overwhelming to think of sailing as soon as a vessel could be found. Besides, there were all those questions about the future and his uncertainty as to whether he ought to connect himself with any Society. Mr. Bird was evidently sympathetic and helpful, and the younger man went home with much to lay before the Lord.

How strange the difference that had come over everything as he retraced his steps toward St. Mary Axe. The same June sunlight shone on London streets, the same birds twittered in the open spaces, but he walked as in a new world-that far vista opening before him. Could it be possible that all that had hitherto blocked his way to China had indeed vanished ; that the Society was not only willing but anxious to send him out ? Then God's time surely must have come, and he could not hold back.

" Mr. Bird has removed most of the objections and difficulties I have been feeling," he wrote to his mother the following day, " and I think it will be well to comply with his suggestions and at once propose myself to the Committee. I shall await your answer, however, and rely upon your prayers. If I should be accepted to go at once, would you advise me to come home before sailing ? I long to be with you once more, and I know you would naturally wish to see me ; but I almost think it would be easier for us not to meet, than having met to part again forever. No, not forever !

A little while : 'twill soon be past !

Why should we shun the promised cross ?

Oh let us in His footsteps haste,

Counting for Him all else but loss

Then, how will recompense His smile

The sufferings of this little while!

" I cannot write more, but hope to hear from you as soon as possible. Pray much for me. It is easy to talk of leaving all for Christ, but when it comes to the proof-it is only as we stand `complete in Him' we can go through with it.

" God be with you and bless you, my own dear, dear mother, and give you so to realise the preciousness of Jesus that you may wish, for nothing but ` to know Him ' ... even in ` the fellowship of His sufferings.' "

"' Pray for me, dear Amelia,' he continued later, `that He who has promised to meet all our need may be with me in this painful though long-expected hour.'

" When we look at ourselves-at the littleness of our love, the barrenness of our service, and the small progress we make toward perfection-how soul-refreshing it is to turn and gaze on Him ; to plunge afresh in ` the fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness' ; to remember that we are ` accepted in the Beloved ' . , . ` who of God is made unto us wisdom and righteousness and sanctification and redemption.' Oh the fulness of Christ : the fulness of Christ !"

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